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Get To Bed!

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Do you tend to be the one that often comes late to bed, being caught up in your projects or catching the monologue of one of the late night shows?  Try making the effort to join your partner to just be close together for a little while -- reading, talking a bit -- without any particular agenda except eventually falling asleep side-by-side.  

Do It Anywhere

You can always find a moment to to pull your partner close and sit down together for a little break.  In the house, watching the baby sleep, out in the yard, catching the setting sun, on a walk, the possibilities are endless.  What a simple gesture that sparks the endorphins and makes one feel loved!


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Tell Your Partner!

What could be more simple and straight forward ... tell your spouse that you were thinking about them during the day.  We all have thoughts about our partner that we should share!  That we were remembering how they looked on that last vacation ... that we couldn't wait to relax with them that evening ... that the great discussion from the other night played out in our mind again ... 

It happens every day, don't forget to share ... this nice behavior couldn't be easier!

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Box It Up

Summer is the time for being outdoors.  The mountains, the beach, the country, hiking trails, gardens, parks ...
Keep your eyes peeled for a beautiful piece of nature.  Box it up with a special note to your spouse as a reminder of the beauty of your love and connection.  Something to have and hold forever ...  

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Watch Your Spouse


coffee_shop_tales.jpgRemember the feeling when you would meet up with your spouse (before marriage) for a drink or cup of coffee?  Invite your partner to do so and get there a little early.  Settle in and watch them arrive.  It will bring you back in time and generate some memories, some good thoughts!

Promises, Promises ... Be Careful!

A promise to your spouse is a kind and generous behavior.  In a typical marriage, day-in and day-out, we agree to do things for our spouse that they are counting on.  Try not to let them down -- do follow through as best you can to do what you've said you will do.  Over time, your partner will love that they can count on you (breaking promises, on the other hand, will only build anger and resentment).  
Two tips: have a system to help you remember, and never agree to anything just to avoid conflict (knowing that you don't intend to follow through).
Try over the next week to have a perfect score!

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Surprising Turn-Ons for Women

Yesterday's WebMD feature article (I'm quoted) ... 


alg_man-washing-dishes.jpgSurprising Turn-Ons for Women
Women dish on what they like men to do -- and it's not in the bedroom.
By Jennifer Soong
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD

When I casually asked my friend Becky about secret turn-ons for women, she didn't hesitate for a second. "Doing the dishes," she responded, as her husband looked at her in disbelief. "That's hot!"

For many women, turn-ons aren't necessarily about traditional romantic gestures like getting roses on Valentine's Day or canoodling during candlelit dinners. Simple everyday rituals like pitching in with the dishes or having coffee together at sunrise can be downright sexy. (Listen up, fellas, you don't even need to spring for a card.)

"When a partner can really count on these kinds of little loving gestures on an ongoing basis, it really makes for the kind of connection that's absolutely necessary to have a relationship hang on through the good and the bad and all the crazy stuff," says Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill, EdS, LMFT, a couples therapist in Mt. Kisco, N.Y. and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage.

"Caring gestures make women feel really good," she says. "Guys don't realize how important they are for women when it comes to getting turned on in the bedroom. To connect physically, they really need that emotional and mental connection."

Helping to Unload the Groceries

Lori Bizzoco, a writer and stay-at-home mom in Brooklyn, N.Y., says her husband not only helps out with the dishes, but also with household chores and taking care of their 2-year-old daughter. But what she appreciates most is when she comes home from the store, he will always come out to the car to help unload bags because he knows she's got a bad back.

"What makes it special," she says, "is that he never rubs any of what he does in my face or complains. He simply believes these things are what husbands are supposed to do. That to me, is the biggest turn-on of all!"

A Cup of Joe at Sunrise

Beverly Solomon of Lampasas, Texas, has been married to artist and designer Pablo Solomon for 35 years and works side-by-side with him managing their art business.

"Of course, there are many reasons that our love has endured," she says, "but the one thing that I really love is that Pablo brings me my first cup of coffee each morning."

He rises much earlier than she does and brews coffee as he begins working on his art. When he sees her bedside light turn on, he brings her coffee over to her.

"We usually have a cup together on our veranda while watching the sun come up over our ranch," she says. "We like to give thanks and to plan our day."

Need a Ride, Baby

After an especially long day at work, Robin Siebold, a psychotherapist in Melbourne, Fla., says her husband of five years knows exactly how to lift her spirits. He will surprise her by showing up at her workplace with his tow truck and loading her car onto his flatbed.

"I feel like I am always putting out fires at work so at the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is one more thing, like drive home," she says. "So when I walk out of work and he is sitting in the parking lot patiently waiting for me, it always makes me smile! And I feel appreciated."


To read the second page of the article, here's the direct link: http://women.webmd.com/features/what-turns-women-on



Try the Unexpected

Who doesn't like a small, unexpected gift ... now and then?  Something your spouse loves, but hasn't had in awhile: his favorite bread from his favorite bakery that you were able to stop at while doing errands in that part of town ... a bathtub pillow, a little treat to get her motivated to take time for one of her favorite ways to relax.  These can be practical gifts, special treats, and little things you've heard your partner mention ... a batch of socks sorely needed ... that bestseller now that it just came out in paperback.  Little surprises are fun and appreciated, but most importantly they are a loving reminder that our partner is thinking about us!
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Accept An "Assignment" From Your Spouse

We've all had the experience of our partner saying to us, "hey this is so interesting, fascinating, well written, etc. -- would love for you to read it so we can discuss, would love to know what you think about the article, would love to know what you think about the characters in this short story, etc."  What a great invitation, an opening to talk, a serious interest in sharing ...
Do you let these invitations go by the wayside ... don't!  
They are a super way to connect.

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GET HOT TOGETHER


Invite your partner to exercise with you ... and really mean it ... meaning that you will be patient with their level of skill and slow things down a bit from what you might do alone.  Take this opportunity to be helpful and generous and attentive.  Make it fun.  Initiate conversations.  Make it a new kind of experience!

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Recent Posts

  1. Loving is About Behaviors
    Thursday, September 30, 2010
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